My Brother, My friend…

We've known each other for our whole lives,
From near and from far apart..
We've had moments of anger, laughter, grief and love,
And stood by each other in times that were tough.

I thank God that you are in my life
A face that I can look to in times of smiles and strife
A family is not just about faces, words or physical presence
It’s also about love, care and genuine prayers
Something you've done and shown me how to do.

I've lived in Bahrain till I turned 18. We were just four… me, my dad, my mom and my elder brother. We were a very close knit family… Always went about together, did stuff together as my dad never really thought it was a good idea to roam about the streets of Bahrain without adult supervision. Maybe it was because it was never really safe. Maybe it was safe but he wasn't very sure about it. Maybe he thought, after all the time we spent in school, tutions and for extra-curricular activities, the remaining should be with family. Whatever the reason was, we understood very little of it back then.

So with little relatives to butt into our personal family space, and limited freedom, I and my brother had lots of time to spend together. But we hardly did. :) Don’t get me wrong though, we did a lot of playing together, watching movies n all, but it was primarily fighting! Hahaha... I've always looked up to him. While I was a toddler, I even used to copy almost everything he did and he used to get so irritated at that! Lol. But I wasn't really a part of his emotional or private world and nor was he a part of mine.

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven.
                                                                                                                             (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

That’s something I have understood and learnt so well over the years.. This year as I entered my fourth decade, I realized that the people who were IN my life since birth, were always the ones who stood OUT for a long, long time. They were just taken for granted. Was. No longer. Maybe it was after he left for college or me staying in a hostel, or after my marriage,  whatever he used to tell me I wouldn't really question it. People who know us both would definitely agree on this - He’s always been the emotionally stable and quiet one and I was the rebel. I can remember my dad telling me innumerable number of times “Ettane kandu padikku” i.e “Learn from your brother”... and HOW that used to get to me!  :)

As the years rolled by, life moved on. And today, he and his better half are my best buddies, confidants, and
mentors. I know they’ll always be close by. In heart and in person. They taught me how to believe in God again, the importance of keeping good relationships alive, how to have light moments in everyday life and the differences that can bring about. They taught me how to have fights within closed doors and not let the whole neighborhood know you’re having a spat. Needless to say, they lived out the definition of patience, love, diligence, kindheartedness, self-discipline, understanding, submission and mutual respect, every day in front of me when I was with them for 3 whole months during my pregnancy.

Today, when I think of Mangalore, it’s a haven for me. It cools my mind and I am at peace when I think of going there. I know I can be myself and think out loud.  Having my mother there is the greatest blessing and I’m glad my brother takes after her quiet, soft spoken and disciplining nature, unlike me! Lol. They all know me, and in all probability, better than myself. Broken or raged up. I would still be met with love, and no judging. I think I’m quite blessed indeed to have a place like that.

My dear brother, I don’t just want to say that you are the best brother one could have. Rather, I’m truly humbled that my Lord gave you as a brother and friend to me. And as an icing to the cake, I have a beautiful and wonderful sister today too! As the Bible says, a virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband. [Proverbs 12:4], I've seen that she truly adorns you. :)

You're continuously transforming into such a beautiful person inside out, day by day, from the time I've known you. Thank you for always having the time for me and being there... I don't know if I have been an equally good friend or support to you but I want you to know I'm always there for you too!


  1. Overwhelmed! No words to describe...Brought tears to my eyes... You have always been a special part of me and now a special part of us! Thanks a lot dear! ITs a great blessing for us to see you always and even now with your beautiful daughter, our niece!

    1. You guys are the best man!!
      Love always
      Hilda Malabari! :)

  2. This is a brilliant post. And I dont just say that cause I know Danny to be a brilliant guy myself, but because just by writing this, you're following through on your words - you're acknowledging the people who matter in your life. Something we all should really do more often.

    1. Thanks Roshan! Sometimes it just feels real bad when you realize what you've been taking for granted was the best you ever had! I truly enjoy reading a lot of your posts.. My brother showed me your blog and I think your one fab writer! :)

  3. Happy to know about your childhood and changes thereafter

  4. very nice writeup hilda.. i liked the flow... would like to read more of ur blogs!!

    1. Hey... Thanks Anju! I do hope you enjoy what you find here.. :)